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No, no, nO, NO!
by Harold Calvert
From the March 2000 Flowstone
Don't you ever get tired of the strange questions that you are asked when people find out you are a caver?
Do you ever find anything in there? NO.
Ain't them cave thangs full'a snakes? NO.
Here's a good one - You goin' cavin' at NIGHT ?
Hey its night there all the time anyway.
Here's a favorite - You been to Bangor?
Its hard to escape the dreaded Bangor syndrome. I recently spoke at a scout meeting near Tuscaloosa when during the meeting a scout mother asked, you guessed it, You been to Bangor?
While at a football game an elderly man saw the NSS tag on the KB minivan. National what? Ain't that some kind of bird watching thing?
NO, it's caving.
Oh ok....hey, you ever find anything down there?
One guy where I work saw some of my pictures and asked, " You ever been to Lake Purdy cave? (Anderson) Man ain't that sumthin'! That thing goes all the way to FLORIDA! We went halfway once but had to turn around ,we dun been in there 6 hours!"
Same guy 3 weeks later.... "You been to Lake Purdy cave? That thing goes plum to Georgia!"
Here we go again.... Seems all Alabama caves exit into different states. Bill Torode must be keeping all those maps hidden.
When another guy saw pictures he asked -Do you ever bring any formations back? will you bring me one? NO.
Well, show me where to go. NO NO NO.
To run through a few quick questions.
NO, we don't find any thing.
NO, its not full of snakes.
NO, we are not a bat worshiping cult (the bat stickers).
NO, my arms don't get tired from climbing that far on rope.
NO, I don't repel, I rappel.
NO, I am not a spelunker, I am a caver.
NO, you can't take your hammer. Or your paint ,or your string.
And finally, about Cullman Grotto,
NO, I don't work for the college, and
NO, YOU HAVE NOT BEEN THERE!
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